This is me, back here back again updating my life. Writing about myself, to figure it all out. Why am I writing? For clarity of what I want. I publicize what I share, hide the rest I don't. I write, to realign my focus and walk towards a better path.
As of now, I try my best to thank God, and the social circle of closest friends that I have. I'm grateful for each morning, as it is a chance for new memories and adventures. I look for opportunities from time to time to do work and life better.
In the past, it was about money. Money money money, profits losses ROI. It took me like 2 full years to figure out that money is not everything. BUT WITHOUT MONEY, YOU CAN'T DO ALMOST ANYTHING. Money become less important when you have enough for yourself, and for the people around you.
That said, I'm happy financially where am. Enough to be confident about life goals. Life goals like growing and building people up around my social circle. Starting a family, having a kid, retiring in a condo. I had an epiphany that, if I somehow had someone pregnant. I'm emotionally and financially ready to get married, start a family and raise a kid. For real. First step that needs to be addressed. I'm single, it is an active search. A friend recommended me to serve the church in the ministry where the gender proportion is uneven. Wonder if that is a good idea or now? Perhaps, it is a good time to expand my religious circle?
As for my physical and mental well being. I don't really like where I am at. I lost weight this year, but not enough. I am proud that I take it day by day. Doing my daily exercise and listening to podcasts to grow my body and my mind. Day by day, it gets better ONLY when effort is put in.
I've got to say, that I now treasure the relationships that I have with people around me better. Due to the 3 day work, 3 day rest, cycle that I have in my career. I hang out with my friends less. However, I would say that the friends I still kept in contact with enjoy a higher quality relationship with me. My job, due to the nature of extreme ownership involved, has made me a more accountable and selfless person.
Jul 2023, I bought myself a car. I had a soccer game with some Malaysians. I celebrated my birthday 3 times. With my excercise friends, my family and my CG. I'm thankful for all these.
Aug 2023, I went for a date, through a person I met online. Other than a last minute change of location, the date went well. We exchanged messages daily, it was going great until on September. I suddenly got ghosted, she met someone else. Well, at least it was peaceful one. I wasn't affected because there was not much emotions involved. I tried to reconnect with her, but in the end we spoke and wished each other well. Things ended happily. It was a wholesome date with a wholesome being. Even though it did not work out, time well spent!
I'm more aware of how I can be such a frustrating person to deal with. I'm not nice, when I'm in a relationship. Due to my mischievous nature, I tend to disturb the other person too much. I'm kind of needy in a peculiarly random way, to the extend that my closest friends gets annoyed. I noticed that this is a pattern. Most people take time to warm up. But I can be quite chaotic after first dates. After all, my name is CHee HAo, LukaS, there's chaos in my name (: I need to change and strike a balance with future prospects.
Sep 2023, I discovered for me Grabexpress is better than Lalamove for deliveries, because there is lesser decision making in the process. Two of my closest buddies got attached. Hanging out with them became tougher, but I'm truly happy for them.
Oct 2023, a month of strengthening ties. Actively reconnecting and catching up with the people around me. I am clearing my leaves, wonder if I can catch up with more people this season?
As of what I'm consuming... I'm really enjoying Bleach series right now. Sharing it with my friends how awesome the series is. Recently, I rewatched "Your Name" and had a good cry. It reminded me of "Life is Strange". Sometimes, I feel like I can save the people around me. Change things for the better. Ooh, I started One Piece too, but it is taking too much free time away from me. As for books, reading "Ego is the Enemy" and "The Obstacle is The Way". I'm a person that gets carried away when ego sets in, I'm trying to change for the better.