I find it fascinating that whenever this topic gets brought up in the middle of conversation. It always a way to stir each other up. Can be a good way, can be a bad way, it depends on who's asking the question, and the intention behind it. Thus, my answer sometimes ranged from, "why you suddenly ask me this, is that relavant?" in a defensive tone. All the way up to sharing the truth behind the story.
PT1: WHERE'S MY COOKIE?
I grew up in a Catholic primary and secondary school. Each year, there was half a day dedicated to mass. It usually takes place right before the final exams where the father/priest conducts a Mass. Mass consisted of priests facilitating the students on how we should behave during the event, santification of the tabernacle, singing of hymns and worship songs, performances in a form of chior and/or piano player. Usually, classmates around me would fall asleep the entire session. BUT NOT ME. OK la, I still fell asleep for most of the segment. But what I was looking forward to was this strange segment of the breaking of bread and wine tasting; I'm talking about the Communion of siants. But when I was younger, my mind was somewhere between the lines of "WHEN AM I GONNA HAVE SOME BREAD AND WINE TASTING SESSION WITH THESE PEOPLE" as I FOMOed at the believers of Christ.
PT2: The invitation to Church, and the fallout
Fast forward to secondary 3, close friend of mine invited me to a church, disguised as "want to go see a concert on Sunday?" I happily agreed with all the nativity I had. I found myself in Youth Hope Church Singapore, converted after the second service. I Attended cell group meetings and services on a weekly basis, as I enjoyed the conversations and the company of my new found friends over there.
Thank you, Paul Low. I owe you.
I was taught from here, that sin separated me from God. It was represented in a visual chart, it goes like this:
There is me, a stickman figure. On the left side.
There is sin, represented as a pit. In the lower middle side.
There is God, represented as the word itself, "God". On the right side.
So the whole explanation why we are unable to find or hear from God lies here. Because there is no Cross in between.
Finally, there is the Cross of Jesus. Draw right in the middle of it all. Bringing me to God.
This simple diagram saved my life. But I didn't knew it back them. I just learnt to draw it and explain it like I'm a professor, without much of an understanding. I skimmed the Bible once from front to back. Try to impress my crushes on how well my Bible knowledge was. Enough to know recall the stories people talk about in church, just to fit into the circle.
After secondary school, I lost touch with the group, I didn't bother to follow up as well as my Poly life was brimming with excitement and a new beginning. I was preoccupied with stuff like cheerleading CCA, a newfound dance crew and participating in dance competitions, Enough for me to not care about the coming together for the Lord segment. I had backslided.
I wasn't prepared to face the complexities of sin. Along the ways in adulthood, I discovered about vices. And they had hit me hard. I fell into an addiction with sin. I was an insecure man filled with ego and pride. I've made mistakes I can't amend, did my best to step away from the old life into my new life. Deep inside of my heart, I know for one, I will need to go to church and repent. Someday I will repent. Someday I will repent. I told myself. But not today. Not today. I still believe in God, this is wrong.
PT3: The reignition, purpose, where I stand
I guess the my redemption is that Jesus died at the cross, so from Sin, I was able to have the courage to get back up and sought help. Starting from climbing from the bottom of the cross, towards Jesus Christ.
S24, a dance performance I've attended in Suntec. It reignited my passion towards dance and performances, it was a brilliant day. I researched online about the venue and found out of City Harvest Church. A place I can find a synergy to maintain my interest in dance, and towards God. In an attempt to find myself a church to be churched. I contacted a friend to invite me to his church.
Thank you, Wesley Ng. I owe you.
A common theme emerged through it all, I realized that many groups that I belonged to has dissipated. I came to the conclusion that my faith is able to stand, without people around me. I learnt what it was like to be: In Christ Alone. Because I had a period where I walked on my own believing, unchurched.
This was my curse, and this also is my gift. Being on my own, being content with not seeking help unless absolutely necessary.
When friends are lost from Christ. All we can do, is pray for them. In hopes that they one day find themselves lost out there looking for salvation, like I did. That is where the followers of Christ has to step in, and help a brother in need out.
I found a loving church in HOGC. And today, I'm dual churched.
Thank you, Kennedy Wong. I owe you.
This is my spiritual journey. Thanks be people that brought me into church and thanks be to God. Amen.